Young 20something reading a text message aloud to her friend who is at the checkout counter: “This is the equivalent to dropping a newborn baby.” (looks at friend) What do I even say to that?!

Maple Grove, Ulta
Overheard by my job is slowly crushing my soul.

Guy #1, in group of six passing us for the second time: We’re seeing all the same people.
Guy #2: That’s the culture of walking around a lake.

Lake of the Isles
Overheard by We’re all just following the path, buddy.

Young male newlywed to his enabler friend: My wife is mad at me because she says I go out 5 nights a week, and never spend time with the kids.

Minneapolis, Brit’s Pub
Overheard by I’m going to have to side with your wife.

Male, triumphantly: I’m gonna eat 20 dome dogs!

Walking into Twins game
Overheard by moofia.

Middle-aged African American bus driver: So what if she’s tall? I wear heels and I’m 5′8. I wear them to church.
Prim-looking Caucasian female passenger: Oh, but at least at church you’re sitting down.
Middle-aged African American bus driver: Oh no, honey. I’m up singing and dancing. I go to a black church. We get our praise on.
Prim-looking Caucasian Female passenger: (uncomfortable pause) That sounds fun.

St. Louis Park, the 12 bus
Overheard by Yes it does.

Young professional girl: He’s cute.  But then again, lately I think every guy is cute.
Friend: Are you ovulating?
Young professional girl: No. I think I’m just desperate.

Minneapolis, Longfellow grill
Overheard by sigh.  me too.

Drunk man to others at his table: I prefer Kenny.  Except for he’s a maniac and you never know what he’s on and he’s always geekin’.

Psycho Suzi’s
Overheard by Laura.

Man to his wife and daughter who have been bickering: I am so sick of females. I’m going to be gay and live with all males.

Onamia, Birch Street
Overheard by daughter who is staying out of it.

Girl: Apparently, the vending machine doesn’t take pennies.

Minneapolis, Art school
Overheard by I hope she doesn’t swallow those pennies.

Drunk Guy: I would totally crawl inside her like a ton ton on planet Hoth!

Twins Game
Overheard by Bewildered friend.

Extremely upset woman on cell phone: You’re a redundant, ignorant, ghetto, naive bitch.  It is what it is.  You probably don’t even know the meaning of half those words!

Southbound LRT train
Overheard by Burrhead.

Girl: Sure, I’ll go to the Deuce-Deuce with you, but we have to talk about the ground rules first.
Boy: Let me guess, no touching, no looking, no smiling?
Girl: No! Well, sort of…
Boy: Ummm, this sounds like a bad idea.

Anoka, Graco
Overheard by you’re not kidding.

Pre-teen boy shopping with female relatives to total stranger outside the dressing rooms: I just want you to know, I’m not gay.

MOA
Overheard by I’m not here by choice, either.

Total Fucker On His Cell: Shut up, Grandma! Your fridge isn’t that heavy!

Outside Southdale Mall
Overheard by At least I’m nice to my grandma.

Mom to seven-year-old boy, in line at Subway: What are you going to have?
Boy: BREAD!

St. Louis Park, Subway
Overheard by Good choice.

Old Woman #1: I saw a wonderful movie last night.
Old Woman #2: What was it about?
Old Woman #1: There was this boy and he had a whale, that he let go…
Old Woman #2: Oh my, what was it called?
Old Woman #1: Free Willy.
Old Woman #2: I saw part of that once.  That’s a good movie.

Minneapolis, Lake Nokomis
Overheard by Matt.

Woman to her boyfriend: Should we watch the Piano tonight?
Boyfriend: Sure, but it’s kinda boring.
Woman: Why’s that?
Boyfriend: There’s too much talking.
Woman: Isn’t the main character mute?

Minneapolis, Blockbuster
Overheard by must be a lot of talking.

Intoxicated guitarist: Now that I’ve got a cell phone that bubbles, I can poop!

St. Paul, Station 4
Overheard by An Invisible Fiend.

Dad to son: Buddy, you have to breathe. You can’t hold your breath forever.
Son: No! I’m never going to breathe again. I hate it!
Dad: …Sounds good.

Fridley, Lifetime Fitness Pool
Overheard by kaybay.

Airhead Girl #1: Well, is he cute?
Airhead Girl #2: No. (Long Pause) But, he has a nice car!

Uptown
Overheard by Do people still care about that?